Last night I had a nightmare about The Canadian. He showed up and started pestering me, begging me to come back and that he loved me all along. I just kept pushing him away and saying, "Get away from me! It's too late."
I know exactly why I dreamt of him too. Because of this. And maybe because around this time last year The Canadian and I were planning our New Year's escape.
I was talking to my stylist about why He stands out from all the other guys I've dated/had a fling with. The most important - He wants to be with me. That's it. In the past I've always been attracted to the guys who, yes, like me but for one reason or another can't be with me. Let's list it out, shall we?
- Former Work Crush - couldn't date me because we work together
- DK - couldn't date me because he didn't believe in defining relationships and wasn't around anyway
- The Canadian - couldn't date me because of his own midlife crisis and he's too caught up in wanting to have a "perfect relationship". Long distance is not perfect.
I thought this was a pretty good video from Potholer54.
I love this idea in spirit. In practice, let me tell you - all singles cruises are cougar cruises. Sure it's not organized or advertised as such, but the demographic for the ladies on a singles cruise sways a bit older. I was the youngest one when I went on my first cruise at 26. In general the singles cruises sway older for both sides.
It's a geriatric free-for-all on the high seas.
This weekend I went to my first baby shower...and it wasn't even my baby.
Dear Kylie,
In two days, you'll be 6 whole months old. I am still in shock over this!
In retrospect, I am so glad I wrote you letters after your first and second month. My apologies for having missed your 3, 4, and 5th month. Thing is, your mom battled a bit of ppd and it was gawd awful those first 8 weeks, but month 3, 4, and 5? We couldn't be bothered to update on those months because we were too busy catching up and having ourselves the time of our lives. If that's not a good excuse, I don't know what is!
So... let's backtrack a little. During that third month, your personality started to form. You are outgoing, flirtatious, and easy to laugh. You are also highly demanding, impatient, and spoiled rotten.
We celebrated your 100 days of life with a little family dinner and soon after, you started to fill out.
you, 100 days old:
your great-aunt lovingly made you all of these traditional sweet breads by hand!
"put them in my mouth!"
The night after your dinner, we shaved your head. Sometimes I wonder if this was a bad move, as your hair has come back in curly!
At your 4 month check up, we found out that you were filling out maybe a little too much. 99% in weight? wow. I vowed never to be that crazy Asian parent but immediately, my first thought was, "Why are you missing 1%?? Where did I go wrong? Why didn't you do the extra credit question!?"
but one look at your chunky thighs and I know that you are 100%. probably 101% and totally G.A.T.E. material, at that.
You and I were baptized the same day, and you were adorable in a dress one of your aunties gifted you.
For your first Halloween, you were 1- a hotdog, 2- Flava Flav, and 3- a lion. The hot dog costume lasted all of 3 minutes, Flava Flav was for a church outing, and the lion because your grandma insisted.
During this month, you learned how to hold your own bottle, sit up, and outgrew the majority of your 3-6 month sized clothes. You attended your first birthday party and your first garage-red-cup-beer-pong-party. Your almost daily explosive poopy diapers have become 1x/2 week occurances and I thank you for that. You slept 8-11 hours a night, solid, and your dad and I got used to this.
We recently moved out of our rental condo and into our very first home and things have been hectic with the house remodel. You seem to know that your surroundings aren't the same as before and wake up 2-4 times a night to whine and cry. It's killin us, smalls, so please stop doing that soon.
You insist on standing instead of sitting, any chance you get. You *adore* your over-the-door jumper and laugh to yourself with every jump. You just started to get peek-a-boo and you love skyping with your Lao-Yeh in Korea because he will peek-a-boo you and coo at you and you will coo right back. and by coo, I mean shriek at the top of your lungs. It is the best sound in the entire world.
This is the end of your 5th month, baby girl, and it makes me so sad to remember back on those first few weeks and how much I missed of your new babyness because I was too involved with dealing with my own feelings. I hope that these last 4, though, have made up for some of that. When you laugh, it makes me and your daddy laugh. When you smile, we smile. As cheesey as it sounds, you are the sunshine in our lives. I can not remember what I was living for before you were a part of my world, and I can not imagine a world with me but without you.
all my love, forever and ever,
your momma
I started a Dating LA Tumblr. I don't need another blog, but I think it will motivate me to post a different kind of Dating LA content; more generalized about love and dating, and not as specific to my own dating experiences which I'll keep to this blog.
Having spent the last 12 hours unpacking boxes, juggling the baby, moving furniture, cleaning, wiping, bleaching, building, and remodeling our new home with my husband, our baby, my brother-in-law, and my in-laws... I can honestly say that this has been the most blessed year of my life.
Fantastic family, awesome friends, steady jobs, food in our pantry, roof over our heads... I have so, so much to be thankful for!
